The Fifth Post

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Grayson is my middle kid. He’s the stereotype of every middle child there is…needy, looking for attention, and astonishingly creative. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Middle%20Child%20Syndrome)

However, beyond his stereotype, this amazing child is also hilarious, handsome, inquisitive, intense, inventive, inspired and downright insane. He does everything with passion…even walking from the backdoor of the house to the garage door for school in the morning is a loud and vivacious (unless you’re my neighbor and then I’d say you probably say it’s annoying), call of the wild. Sometimes he goes to the car belting out his latest homemade song or his idea of the lyrics from a top 40 hit; Sometimes he goes in boisterous screams of protest because he does not want to go to school; And sometimes he just does, what we refer to as, “monstering”, which is a combination of  extremely loud grunts and hisses, and, well, monster sounds.

Grayson is so smart. Sometimes he blows us away with his knowledge and other times he has us in tears because his humor is beyond his years. Gray has always done things earlier than we thought he would…he showed up on the pregnancy test a few months before my husband and I expected, he came into this world a few weeks prior to they day he was supposed to, and he began to speak at exactly 9 months old.

And let me say, since he let out that first word, he has never really stopped talking during any of his waking hours. At first, we attributed his talking to having an older brother so close in age (18 months older). But now that I have had a chance to ruminate in his personality, I actually think he first spoke because he needed to start getting some important things answered.

His inquisitiveness often dumbfounds me. Many times I try to describe this child friends or distant family that have not had a chance to spend quality time with him, and my words often fail to convey his true being.  So, two days ago, I decided to write down all of the questions Graygray asked me in the span of one hour in an attempt to show everyone what a cool, crazy kid I have.  

From 4:45pm to 545pm on Sunday, June, 9, the listing below is what I ended up with. You may get bored reading these questions, or possibly tired thinking of the potential answers (but seriously, attempt to think of the answers, it starts to hurt the brain). Join the club. He exhausts me.

Finally, try to keep in mind, it’s only one single hour of this boy’s life…anytime he is awake, he constantly exists in this parallel world where curiosity and knowledge fill his old soul. He must be exhausted too.

All of these questions are always preceded by a high-pitched, persistent kid voice buzzing, “Mommy…mommy, mommy…mommy…ummmmmmmmm”:

…do you know any yoga?

...want me to show you “frog pose”? It takes me awhile to set it up, so tell me now.

...did you know [does hand gesture] means "happy birthday" in sign language in every language in the world? How can sign language be the same in every language, but everyone hears different languages? 

…Will you tell me if this looks like “rainbow pose”, because I think this is really yoga that I’m doing?

…can I go to space when I get older?

…do I have to be smart to go to space? Cullen* loves space, he tells me everything about space, can I go with him? *Cullen is an adorable boy in Grayson’s class

…when will I learn to read everything?

…what is a bodyguard?

…if I get night vision glasses, can I see through jammies?

…If I get to the moon, can I eat it? I love cheese, I would probably eat the whole thing.

...if ninjas are all secret guys, how do they become ninjas if no one knows how to find where their ninja school is? 

…what is 1 million times 10 million?

…when does Batman get tired?

…how do you make spicy things?

…where does sweet come from?

…did you know they show every show in HD these days?

…why do girls like soft flower things and boys like to beat each other up?

…do superheroes have to go to the doctor? Do they get shots?

…do you remember when I was a baby and I tried food for the first time? I don’t remember that. Was it good?

…if there is a bomb, or hot lava, or a tornado…is it ok to scream and wake up Harper[sister]?

…how long is exactly 30 minutes?

…when Daddy Skypes or calls u from work, can you tell me so I can ask him something?

…if you fly, is it true there are pockets of air you fly through and they are shaped like rectangles?

…how long does it take for one piece of ice to melt?

…do you know what “Namaste”  means?

...does Uncle David live closer to the equator than we do? 

…If we find an animal that talks, can we keep him? If we keep him, can we name him “Talkie”?

…how does one phone talk to another phone?

…if phones use satellites, what if those satellites crash into Earth, how will we talk to each other from a car?

…how do you make a castle? Do you have to make a bridge first, or do you make a bridge last so you can go over the moat?

…what if someone had a body inside their body and then another body inside that body and another person inside that body? Would that be a lot of people if that happened?

…has it been 30 minutes since I asked you the question about how long 30 minutes is? [time passed was 23minutes]

…what is wetter than the ocean?

…can you imagine if you had fur? You’d be so hot in the summer.

…do you think you’d shave if you had fur?

...what are fruit snacks made out of? Do they have protein?

Exhausting? Yes. 

It’s also wonderful and simply lovely that this child of five years old finds questions in every piece of his life. I hope when he grows up he follows his inquisitive thoughts to the ends of the Earth and he finds what he’s searching for…Until that time though, I’m happy to help him with as many possible answers to his unrelenting kid interrogations/investigations/inquiries as I can.

And , boy, I hope I do him justice.