The Ninth Post: An Elephant Sized Lesson

Today, a friend sent me a picture of my middle son, Grayson, during his kindergarten lunch period. It is of him holding up the rind from his Clementine Orange.

(Picture courtesy of KPillsbury)

Laugh as you will at the picture, we all know what it looks like, but it’s actually an elephant. And to be really honest with you, I’m pretty proud of that orange rind fashioned elephant.

Grayson learned to make rinds into elephants about two months ago. He, his siblings, and my husband, took an afternoon trip to my husband’s Aunt’s home for a little Chinese New Year celebration. I was unable to make the trip because I was working, but I’m so happy they went. Gray came home determined to recreate the elephant rind, and damn if it wasn't a bonus that he ate a ton of Clementines in the learning process.

He learned the skill that day from my husband, Jason’s, cousin’s partner, whom was introduced to the kids to the first time that day. (I won’t use their names here, because I’m not sure they are OK with me putting their names into a story on my blog). But I wanted to share the little elephant anecdote with you all and tell you all, this man, whom I have never met, but definitely want to meet, taught my son, in one chance afternoon meeting, how to make an elephant out of an orange rind.

Receiving that picture today, reminded me that kids learn things from all kinds of people. They won’t just be learning things from me. Sure, they got my wavy hair, my love of sweets, and one unlucky one even sort of got my face, but they won’t get all of life’s lessons from me. And damnit, just when I was ruminating in, and coming to terms with the fact that I could not supply all of life’s lessons to my kids on my own, I had another epiphany-- they can get them from the most random of places.

Shit.

What if my kids never went to their Great Aunt’s that day? Would my middle guy be making phallic looking elephant sculptures for his class?  Doubtful. Thus, I would like to say, “thank you,“ to my husband’s cousin. He brought his partner into our family. He gave us Clementine elephants.  Oh, and he also started a dialogue about how it is that men can marry men and women can marry women, and how essentially, marriage is all about love, and if you deeply and truly love someone, then you can and should be with them in life forever.

It’s not that the subject had not come up prior to the visit that day, it’s that I never thought more than to say, “you can marry whomever you want” …I thought I could make the fact that you can love whomever you want, “the new normal” of kid raising and I wouldn’t have to say anything more about it. Yep, I am fairly disappointed I missed the ball on this one.  I even have a cousin who’s been engaged to her partner for months and they have certainly been here around the kids, and I never even thought once about sitting down and explaining to my children about the ins and outs of marriage.  I’ve never thought it was a question around here…until that day when they came home from that afternoon with their dad’s family.

You see, when you meet a child—when you choose to start a dialogue with a child or be in the presence of a child— remember that you can impact their lives in amazing ways. Be thoughtful and respectful of their penchant for picking up on nothing and everything all at once because you never know when things will click in with kids and when they will become inquisitive. As an adult, you can do this in the way you interact with the child (in conversation or in actions), or it can even be by the way you carry yourself within the sightline of the child, or maybe it can be simply in the way you live your life. Wouldn’t it be an amazing world if we could all be the person we’d like to see them grow up to be? Isn’t it Oprah who says, “be your best self”? Oh geez, is this another epiphany coming on?...Maybe Oprah really is some sort of oracle for life lessons?

Anyway, along with those kudos I've already voiced, I'd like to say "thank you," to all of those in my children’s lives who impact them in ways I cannot. Thank you to those who teach on purpose and to those who teach by living your lives in the best way you know how to live. Thank you for the little life lessons that make up my children’s lives.

It’s been an amazing ride watching them learn these life lessons thus far, and I can’t wait to see them learn more from all of you. I can’t wait to see when someone will teach one of my kids to make a flower out of a strawberry, or a bowl out of a watermelon…but guys, just be mindful, we already got the lesson on making elephants out of orange rinds, and what an awesome lesson it was.